It finally got me. After boasting about my iron strong immune system, I finally got hit with a cold. I thought this would have come sooner, as I work in a hospital. With children. That cough and touch things. BUT, I have somehow avoided it. Until now.

Now I feel like my head is FULL of cotton, I have taken one too many dayquil, and when parents ask me questions it takes me approximately one full minute of awkward silences before answering them.

Have I mentioned how much I hate being sick? Not only does it make you feel like death, but you have to stop your regular schedule. Whereas I usually spend every waking minute being productive in one way or another, I spent all of today in bed. I slept about 14 hours. I still feel like crap. And I didn’t even get to walk today, which means I didn’t get any exercise, which makes my head and body sad.

I also had to come to work. The smart thing would have been to call in sick, but I am saving up my PTO so I can go to Hawaii in February.  GAH. Sometime being an adult makes you do stupid things. Like come to work when you shouldn’t so you can have adequate time accrual. HA. Didn’t think I would ever write out THAT sentence.

However, now that the cold is here I have to deal with it. So I will walk you through the almost fool-proof cold recovery system created by me. If I follow these steps carefully, I may get over my cold in a day or two. Miss a few steps, and I am screwed.

Step one: Stop moving. Don’t even think about drugging yourself up and making your scheduled plans. Cancel your plans. Stay in bed.

Step two: Sleep. As much as possible. When you don’t think you can sleep anymore, try. You will most likely be able to revert back to being an infant and sleep 20 hours out of the day.

Step three: Drink fluids like you will never have access to water again. I like to do a combination of water, ginger tea, green tea, Kombucha, and when things get desperate, Theraflu (that shit is powerful stuff)

Step four: If life doesn’t allow you to stop everything (as in you have to go to work and function like a somewhat normal human being), then and only then, start taking the cold medicine. That stuff is NOT good for the liver, and it makes you feel high—and not in a pleasant-ethereal- way—in a why-am-I-here- and- how- did- this-happen way. However, sometimes it is necessary. Case in point, I am on Dayquil right now. Don’t feel too awesome, but I also can function on a somewhat normal level. And yes, when I get home I’m going to make myself a steaming hot mug of Theraflu and crawl into bed.

Step five: Eat copious amounts of Pho. First off, it is the best. Secondly, it is cheap. Third, it is the perfect food for when you have a cold. You snuggle up with that and a few reruns of Parks and Recreation? Forget about it, you are SET.

I hope to whatever god/goddess that exists in the world that I will feel better by the weekend. I have BIG plans—nothing and no one will stop me from seeing the Seattle Men’s Chorus sing Christmas Carols.

I will be there HELL OR HIGH WATER.