Alright body. I give up. You want to be sick for two weeks? You want to be full of aches, pains, mysterious bruises and a deep, aching lethargy that requires 10 hours of sleep a night? Fine. You win.
With lymph nodes the size of grapefruits, bruises the size of texas and one too many, “You look so TIRED!” comments I have given in to whatever is raging inside of my body.
I can’t run. I can’t bike. I feel all my muscle slowly turning to jello. A month ago, I was feeling strong and ready to take on the world. This evening I feel like a visitor trapped in a weak, tired, unhealthy hot mess.
This shit is the worse.
Pity party for me.
In all fairness, my illness is pretty real AND somewhat of a mystery, which makes it that much more terrifying.
However, I did just get back from four days of 78 degree weather and the hot Nevada sun, so I suppose I shouldn’t complain .
My trip to Nevada was supposed to be filled with bad decisions, too much tequila and my bestie. Instead it was filled with my attempting to rally, crawling into bed at midnight on the one night I was on the Strip and then spending the rest of the vacation popping ibuprofen like it was candy, taking pre-natal vitamins (there is a theory behind it), and reading one too many murder mystery novels.
I also decided to eat cookies. Lots and lots of cookies. Reason number one: I felt like crap. Reason number two: these cookies are like crack. Reason number three: if I can’t exercise and feel like myself, I might as well drown my sorrows in coconut milk ice cream and cookies… right? (this is when I fall off the wagon and end up at 300 pounds. Se la vie)
Whatever the reason for my cookie consumption, these cookies are damn good. And you can almost justify eating 13 in one day because they are made with maple syrup, olive oil and whole wheat flour… healthy, right? My step mom spiced it up by adding chocolate chips, which was incredible. Took down the level of health, but also tasted awesome in my mouth.
Like I said, I feel like shit… I’m compensating by eating an exuberant amount of peanut butter cookies. Deal with it.
Peanut Butter Cookies Recipe
Adapted from 101 Cookbooks.
2 cups whole wheat pastry flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
3/4 teaspoon fine grain sea salt
1 cup natural, chunky peanut butter
1 cup maple syrup
1/3 cup extra virgin olive oil
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
Preheat oven to 350F degrees. Place racks in the top third.
In a medium mixing bowl combine the flour, baking soda, and salt. in a separate larger bowl combine the peanut butter, maple syrup, olive oil, and vanilla. Stir until combined. Pour the flour mixture over the peanut butter mixture and stir until barely combined – still a bit dusty looking. Let sit for five minutes, give one more quick stir, just a stroke or two. Now drop by heaping tablespoonfuls onto parchment-lined baking sheets. Press down on each one gently with the back of a fork. It’s a loose batter, so if you’re set on doing criss-crosses, go ahead and chill the batter for an hour or so before this step. Bake for 10, maybe 11 minutes – but don’t over bake or they will be dry. Let cool five minutes and transfer to a cooling rack.
Make 2 – 3 dozen cookies.
Girl, I’m sorry you’re feeling so shitty. Any ideas what’s up? Here for support if you need to vent. I’ve been on my own wild/wooly health journey in the past 18 months, so just say the word. I’ve found sometimes it’s easier to to have it out with a total stranger than my closest friends about the whole thing.
Thanks Kelsey– I appreciate the support. Turns out I have strep throat, and before that, some sort of weird, viral infection that was attacking my immune system. Sigh. I think once I get all of this cleared out of my system, I can be a normal human being again. Honestly, your wise words coupled with your amazing photos and recipes have been a great source of comfort and reassurance this past month. Thanks for that.