Every New Year’s Eve I choose a word. Taking a page from my grandmother’s book, this word is what I aspire to for the upcoming year. Instead of making some grand lofty resolution I won’t ever stick to, I set an intention around a single word. It’s a reminder to myself that at the beginning of the year I had a plan to be a better person.
This year my word is flawless. It should be no surprise that Beyonce is my spirit diva, and so to choose a word that embodies her is practically perfect in every way. I can feel eye rolls from here, so let me explain.
I rang in the New Year on the Costa Rican shoreline. Swimming in the ocean in my skivvies while drinking straight from a bottle of champagne, I had flashes of happiness that felt like I was going to burst. You know that feeling when you smile so hard your cheeks start to hurt? It was one of those moments where life didn’t feel real (let’s be honest, that’s how all of Costa Rica felt) and I reminded myself how full and beautiful my world is.
My definition of Flawless is to find perfection in everything that I’m doing. Making silly mistakes with the wrong men? Flawless. Being bold and daring in my career? Flawless. Finding my way back to yoga, running and cycling? Flawless.
This year is my year to reclaim all of my ambition, strength and confidence that have been chipped away after years of heavy self-doubt. This year is about shaking that off, and asking myself, “what would Bey do?” 2015 will be the year that I move through life with my head held high, presenting confidence like a smile; big, in your face, and ever present.
I grew up in a family that avoided confrontation like the plague. We tiptoe around hurt feelings, and “talking things out” hasn’t ever been our strong suit. This year I will rock the damn boat and get better at wearing my heart on my sleeve. I am going to stand up for the things that matter, and make sure my voice is heard. I am going to tell the people I love that I love them, write off the people that are toxic, and stop being so damn coy with boys that make my heart pitter patter. These things are too important and life is too short.
Can you hear the Beyonce yet?
And while Queen Bey is most often embodying fierceness, one of the biggest things in my year of Flawless will be allowing myself to be vulnerable. As a stubborn, stoic individual, being open and vulnerable is the most terrifying. I was walking on the beach this morning and everything was quiet and sunny and perfect. It hit me like a ton of bricks that maybe (just maybe) I was open to letting someone know my heart again. After two loves that shook the foundation of my existence, guarding my heart has been my forte.
Men have come and gone like the seasons, and it’s been wonderful to keep them at a safe distance; only letting them see that “charming” part of me (that’s what I’m calling it, dammit.) I haven’t allowed myself to be real to any fella in a few years, and I think it might be time. That’s not saying that the great love of my life is going to fall in my lap, but if he did I’d be open to it. Embracing Flawless will mean being less wary of men, trying to trust their intentions, and allow myself be vulnerable with one (or three) of them in 2015.
I spent the first nine days of the year collecting freckles and eating pineapples and mangos as the sun warmed my skin. If that doesn’t set the tone for a flawless year, I don’t know what will.
Costa Rican Breakfast Tacos
Tacos are my favorite food on the planet (aside from nutritional yeast on popcorn, of course.) It might be the thing I miss most about Texas, so while traditional Costa Rican food doesn’t involve tacos, I remedied that by making my own. And you know what I love more than a regular old taco? A breakfast taco. I’m fairly certain that if I start my day with one of these bad boys, the next 12 hours will be magic. Just another part of carrying on the year of Flawless.
- Corn tortillas, warmed
- ½ cup, black beans
- 2 eggs, scrambled
- ¼ avocado, sliced
- Mango salsa (1 red onion, 1 tomato, ½ mango, 1 lime (juice), ½ cup cilantro (chopped), 1 jalapeno, 2 cloves garlic and salt) chop everything and mix together, salt and squeeze lime juice to taste)
- Tabasco, chipotle salsa, etc.
These are very simple, but who said there had to be anything complicated about a taco? The other great thing about this “recipe” is the only important thing is the tortilla—the rest is whatever calls to you that day. It just so happens that I was in Costa Rica, where the nearby fruit market kept us stocked in tropical fruit for the week. This market was run by two elderly gentlemen selling coconuts from a cooler and mangos from a wood box. Every day I would have at least two coconuts, whacked with a machete and served with a straw. Did I mention that CR is my favorite place in the world and I cried this morning when I knew I had to leave?
Needless to say, this tropical paradise set the tone for THESE tacos, but if you’re freezing your butt of in the eastern half of the country, you can scrounge around your kitchen for onions and squash and make something just as delightful.
What really made these was the mango salsa. We used the leftovers on top of the fresh tuna we got from the local fish market, and then used it the next morning for our eggs. Really, you just pop the salsa on everything and you’re set. Can you tell I like it?
No matter what the time of year, it’s always taco time… enjoy!
Love it. Your word and your words.