Seeking Clarity

Today I pretended to be a mom for 1.5 hours. It is exhausting. However, there is nothing more precious than receiving compliments from an adorable 3.5 year old. I traipsed around with this little boy whose energy astounds and delights me. It seems that I could care less about appearing like an ass in public, as I sneer, growl and run around like a fool. What can I say, this kid has my heart.

He also made me realize how I can’t see myself having kids for a REALLY long time…. if at all.

Gasp!

Not having kids? I know, I know. If my mom reads this, she will probably have a heart attack. I just don’t know if raising a child is in my future– and is that such a bad thing? I think there are enough children in the world, and perhaps my contribution to society is to NOT have a kid. I can be the fun aunt. Or whatever.

Mind you, I say this as a highly content 20 something single lady. Perhaps when I meet said lobster/dream man, the idea of babes will sprout up in my mind.

Speaking of minds, I had a beautiful practice today. I am still fighting this ridiculous head cold, so I contemplated not going to yoga. However, one of my absolute favorite instructors was leading, so I said eff you cold, I’m getting on that mat.

Thank goodness I did.

We spent a lot of time breathing. Which people don’t ever do. It blows my mind how you can feel the effects right away. While lying in shavasana, I tried to focus all my energy on quieting my mind (such an oxymoron, but that is a whole different discussion). To do this, I paid attention to my inhale and exhale. For me, I imagined my breath going into my brain, and where all the blood flows I imagined sprouting flowers, opening up passages, granting peace and new life.

It was the best shavasana I have had in a really long time.

I challenge you all to take 5 minutes to find a comfortable spot and practice breathing. I guarantee you will feel like a new person.

Make your weekend goal breathing… REALLY exciting, I know.

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Quirkyalone

A lot of how to reach my absolute all-encompassing potential is to embrace the idea of being a quirkyalone.

What’s a quirky alone you might ask? Only the best (and only awesome) self-help book out there. This isn’t a self-help book that you read in darkened corners, covering it up with something more acceptable.

This is the kind of book you shout about from roof tops. This is the kind of book you buy extra copies of to give friends. This is the kind of book that tells you ALL the things you need to hear.

Quirkyalone: n. adj. a person who enjoys being single (or spending time alone) and so prefers to wait for the right person to come along rather than dating indiscriminately. Quirkyalone is a book, a holiday, and a movement.

Take that Rom Coms, Valentines Day and being a girl in America—this lady is embracing her singledom.

In the past, I claimed to be a quirkyalone—I got my first copy when I was 17, and pretended like I was strong enough and proud enough to be okay with being single. Lets be real, I was like every other 17-year-old girl. All I wanted was a boy to hold hands with while listening to The Get Up Kids together (I went through a pretty intense pop-punk/emo phase).

Now—well now I am seasoned veteran of love. Wait, wait. That is complete bullshit. BUT I do know at least a little bit more about love, and A LOT more about myself. So, after my recent break up (after the adequate amount of tears, freak outs, etc.) I have come to revel and rejoice in my singlehood.

My bestie for life (who also happens to be my roomie) is also single. This works out swimmingly, as we both have come to love and embrace all that comes with being alone. We love the freedom. We love the ability to do what we want to do, whenever we want to do it. We love cooking for one (or two, when we cook for each other). We love not settling.

We love ourselves enough to be alone.

Ah. It only took me 24+ years to embrace this idea.

However, I am not opposed to having a partner; I am just not actively looking anymore. Instead, if it does happen, it will be a moment where my quirkyalone becomes a quirkytogether.

So I leave you with one (of many) tidbits about being a quirky alone. It is the perfect description of how I am currently living my life. I suggest all you single ladies do the same, it’s a liberating feeling.

We are the puzzle pieces who seldom fit with other puzzle pieces. We inhabit singledom as our natural resting state…Secretly, we are romantics, romantics of the highest order. We want a miracle. Out of millions we have to find the one who will understand. For the quirkyalone, there is no patience for dating just for the sake of not being alone. On a fine but by no means transcendent date, we dream of going home to watch television. We would prefer to be alone with our own thoughts than with a less than perfect fit…but when the quirkyalone collides with another, ooh la la. The earth quakes.

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OH! And for all of you that are feeling lonely for whatever reason (breakup, singledom that makes you sad instead of liberated, whatever) watch this AMAZING video. I’m telling you. This video and a copy of Quirkyalone? You aren’t ever going to feel lonely again.